| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|03:08 am] |
October
Uterus: Help! There's a fever raging through the body! I'll hang on to my lining, I might need it for later.
Me: No period. Hm. Well, I was sick, so I guess that's to be expected.
November
Uterus: Heee! I has a lining! *huggles* Is MAH lining! You no can has! I LOVES IT I LOVES IT I LOVES IT EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Me: Ok, this ain't right. No period, I've gained a bit of weight, I'm hungry all the time as well as having random cramps. AW FUCK! *stressssssssssss*
Doctor: You're not pregnant. Are you under any stress at the moment?
Me: Very fucking funny. I gave you $50 to tell me that? *headdesk*
December
Uterus: Christmas Lining Christmas Lining Christmas all the waaaaaaay! A lining! For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!
Me: That's it, I'm having blood tests. Screw this.
Uterus: YOU CAN TAKE MY FALLOPIAN TUBES, BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE MY LINING!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|06:45 am] |
I have epic period farts and they keep making me laugh. I just did this epically long one and I started laughing in the middle of it so it made my fart go wierd and uneven. My asshole was laughing with me :D |
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| Buprenorphine |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|08:39 pm] |
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Any experiences with Buprenorphine? This is my 7th day taking it, and I think I love it. My anxiety levels are down, and my bipolar depression seems like its getting better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|06:01 pm] |
So I am a juicy individual; I understand this and try to take precautions when I masturbate, just in case. Last night I was lazy, though, and just pulled out my bullet to rub one out before going to sleep. Sometimes I get a pretty impressive flow going, and I figured that's what happened last night; I was half asleep and not really paying attention to much else[yes, even falling asleep in a wet spot].
I woke up today though and I'm starting to worry that I peed instead. :| My sheets smell rank. Granted, my snatch has been smelling weird lately anyway, so maybe it was just cunt juice, but I'm not really sure.
I'm trying to come up with an excuse for when I bring down the bedsheets and mattress pad that I changed out like... two days ago, as well as a pair of sweatpants and underwear. |
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| Bartholin's fun. |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|03:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Craig Armstrong - Hulk Theme (End Credits) | ] |
So I have a bartholin's cyst... And since it's not abcessed I get to wait and take 20 sitz baths a day. I smell to high hell like teatree oil, and if I read one more thing about epsom salts I just might explode. Needless to say... if it ruptures, I'm actually somewhat excited to see that sort of ick coming out of me. Well I knew you people would understand. Oh and in case you didn't know, a bartholin's cyst is just inside the lil labia. My cyst started pea size and now it's about... marble sized? Can't wait for it to leave me alone. It's killing my sex life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|12:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
So, I'm at work. The way my office is set up is that I have a studio where my clients come in, and you have to walk outside to get to the bathroom. I was alone at the studio, and had to take a dump. So I walk out to the bathroom, and notice some car keys on the ground. I couldn't figure out whose they could be, since my last client left over an hour ago. I put the keys in my office, lock up the studio, and go do my business.
I'm in there for about 5 minutes when I hear knocking on the studio door. I get veeeery quiet. Then I hear my last client, Anna, calling my name. And then my cell phone rings. It's Anna, leaving a message - she was downstairs at the hair salon after her appointment with me, she's lost her car keys, and figured she left them here...she doesn't have a spare set, she's trapped here, where am I, will I be back soon? And I'm sitting there....ummm....unable to get up and leave the bathroom.
Well, at this point I'm trapped. She's not going anywhere, and I can't leave the bathroom without her seeing me. Plus, she might have heard my cell phone ring in the bathroom, although she's too polite to knock on that door.
Anywway, I finish up, am finally able to get up, wash my hands, and come out. I tell her I found her keys. We both pretend we don't notice that I just spent at least the last 5 minutes in the bathroom while she was out there waiting for me. And, I imagine, by the next time I see her on Wednesday, we'll both pretend that the whole thing never happened... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|10:38 pm] |
Eurrgh. I have the horrible sneaking feeling that I've got the beginnings of a UTI. Or it might just be me being paranoid, based on the fact that the last one I had was the worst pain I've yet experienced and I'm not in search of another.
Thing is, on Saturday night I committed the rookie mistake of forsaking the post-sex toilet trip because I was so frickin' exhausted. I figured "meh, won't hurt this once". I think I might be about to pay for that. Not got that many symptoms, mostly just discomfort during peeing (and for a significant time after that, actually - not the 'I still need to pee' discomfort, the actual sore/burning feeling in the urethra) which was what first got my attention. I'm now on red alert because good god, I do not need this this week. Planning on seeing how I feel in the morning and if there are still signs I will be down the docs quicksmart.
All the same: any deities listening, please please let me not have a UTI again. Please. |
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| lots of green |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|03:04 pm] |
ugh so my sore throat is doing better but now my nose is super dry all the time. especially at night. it hurts to breathe throug it and in turn irritates my throat
though i do get some epic boogers
i hadnt pooed since thursday. today, sunday i did and it was green. nice. i did have blue jello wed and thurs so maybe thats why
i just wanna feel good again :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|12:43 pm] |
For my fellow TMI-ers who have stretched ear piercings:
You know that smell that they can get when you don't wash them every day? That weird, cheesy kind of smell?
Am I the only one who, after being lazy for a few days and not washing them, likes to rub their fingers on the jewelry and sniff it?
For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about: it's one of those "it's so bad but you can't help but smell it again and again" types of things.
In other news: I haven't had a proper poop in several days. It feels like I want to, but nothing's there! Mystery poop FTL. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|10:59 am] |
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My blob comes on the day I have a hangover. Thanks, body. Now I have to decide which end of me most urgently needs to go in the toilet first. |
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| Oh and P.S. uterus.... |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|01:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
The last few days I've been über horny as in having to get off two and three times a day, doing the whole spotting thing on & off, hot as hell, and headachy. FIGURE OUT WHAT IN THE HELL YOU WANT TO DO!!! It's either menopause or PMS from the netherworld....
Again, NO LOVE,
Moi |
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| Bats Day Update 12-18-09 - 2010 Tix Package $$ and more. |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|05:13 pm] |
Bats Day Update 12-18-09 - 2010 Tix Package $$ and more.
Happy Holidays everyone.
We at Bats Day in the Fun Park want to wish you a very happy holidays.
It’s almost the end of the year and we wanted to get this very special update for the 2010 Bats Day in the Fun Park Events. It will be April before you know it.
In this update for Bats Day in the Fun Park you will find the following:
--2010 event ticket package pricing has been announced
--2010 Bats Day Black Market only a few spots left for vendors
--Bats Day Scream Store Sale until 12/25/09
--The 2010 Official Bats Day Hotel
--Come fly the ghoulish skys with discount air fair from Jet Blue
--2009 Bats Day event photos & 2010 Event Flyer
( All the details are under this cut )
Once again thank you for reading this update
Stay Spooky
Noah K
---- ^v^ -------- ^v^ --------- ^v^ ---------
Bats Day in the Fun Park Weekend 12
April 30th - May 2nd, 2010
Friday April 30th, 2010
The Nightmare Before Bats Day -Dinner Meet & Greet
Saturday May 1st 2010
The Bats Day Black Market
The Bats Day Ghoulish Gala
Bats Day Dark Park
Sunday May 2nd 2010
The Spooky Trip to Disneyland - Bats Day in the Fun Park
Check out the Bats Day Scream Store.
with limited edition items.http://www.batsdaystore.com
Your number one source for all of your
Bats Day information.http://www.batsday.net |
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| Dear Uterus.... |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|05:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | irritated | ] |
Would you kindly decide what in the hell you want to do? It's bad enough that the period (thanks in part to HBC Reclipsen) you decided to give me in July landed me in the ER due to the massive clots you gave me, but to not give me one since? That's like waiting for the other damn shoe to drop and now to make me start spotting two days ago, then stop, then start again today complete with mini clots? You suck! Please kindly decide what you want to do and I beg of you to not have it be yet ANOTHER two week to a month long period. Thanks....
No love,
Me |
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| Ass pudding |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|03:06 pm] |
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Did you guys know that when you take something like Immodium to stave off the impending scoots when you're going to be travelling, but don't actually have said scoots yet, it acts as a laxitive? Me neither! This'll just cap off an already hellish week (my father-in-law died somewhat unexpectedly on Wednesdsay), and all I want to do is go home. Not be nauseous, not be fearing tiny airplane toilets, just be home. Possibly with no bra on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|09:43 am] |
Maybe this was just me, but hopefully I can save someone else from the mint anguish.
If you are on your period, and our boyfriend somehow convinces you to have sex, DO NOT let him use minty tingly lube, especially on your clitoris. If you're anything like me, and get kinda sore during this lovely time of month, you will fell like he has set your vagina on fire, and end up whimpering in the shower, washing it off, while your boyfriend shouts "I'm sorry sweetie!!" from the bedroom.
My boyfriend is crap at Clit-Management.
On the plus side, I felt nice and clean and minty-fresh after my shower :) |
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| Three unrelated things! |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|12:01 am] |
1. I have a UTI. Sort of. Maybe.
Background: I started feeling that horrible "constant bladder pressure" you get with UTIs on Tuesday, and I was like "WELL SHIT". But it never really turned into anything else. Sometimes the feeling was worse, sometimes better. I drank lots of fluids and a friend gave me some of those delightful bladder-numbing pills that turn your pee bright orange. I would have gone to a Dr but I was flying out early the next morning and none of the urgent care clinics could see me, so she gave me the pills for the flight, in case it got monumentally worse.
It didn't, though. The pressure and constant need to pee just kept going. So I figured I'd deal with it if it got worse and keep drinking fluids. Finally, this morning, it got worse and I got a little bit of back pain up by my kidney.
I went to an urgent care clinic and the doctor there was like "THERE'S SOME TRACE BLOOD IN YOUR URINE AND THIS IS A SIGN OF KIDNEY STONES HOW BAD WAS YOUR BACKPAIN THAT YOU HAD BEFORE??? (it had gone away once the doctor took me back to the exam room)."
"I dunno, a 3 maybe (on the stupid pain scale they make you use, 1 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt)?"
"Oh. Well. That's... that's not like kidney stones, they're usually a 10."
"You know," I said, "both times I've had a UTI in the past, I've had blood in my urine."
"You have? Oh. Well. That's unusual."
"Oh. Um."
"I will prescribe you some Cipro! Take tylenol for the pain!"
Honestly I thought blood in the urine was pretty common in UTIs. And he didn't give me any more of the nifty bladder numbing pills. Jerkface.
2. When I drink coffee, I think that my pee afterwards smells like chicken soup. Anyone else experience this smell in particular?
3. Once I was babysitting for two siblings, a boy and a girl. The boy was 4 and the girl was 3. Their mom had taught them the proper names for body parts, which I learned when they took a bath and the girl informed me that her vulva was clean now.
Anyway, later in the day we were playing with play-doh and they asked me to make them a dog. I did, and the girl took it and started giggling. "Kiss its nose!" she told her brother. He did. "Kiss its foot!" He did. She giggled. "Kiss its vulva!!" And... he did.
Well, where it would be, anyway, since I didn't make an anatomically correct dog. I laughed and said nothing. |
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| Lexapro/Escitalopram |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|09:10 pm] |
After having horrible side effects from Cymbalta, my GP has switched me to Lexapro. I have had fairly good reactions to SSRIs in the past, no really nasty side effects/weight gain etc. But the more I read about Lex, the more concerned I get. I'm not too bothered by the withdrawals - hell, it can't be worse than Effexor!!
I didn't have any weight gain on Prozac or Citalopram when I was on them before, so is it unlikely that I will experience weight gain on Escitalopram (Lex) as it's pretty similar to Citalopram.
I am recovering from Bulimia & already at a high weight so gaining more would be really bad for my health, hence my main concern. Is there any way to combat weight gain caused by anti-depressants? It seems it's a metabolic problem which would indicate that merely diet & exercise might not cut it.
Experiences & advice would be greatly appreciated. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|03:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
so ive felt off for maye 2 weeks now, period, mood swings. and for a few days my throat irritated me and i knew it would soon be sore
so yesterday i had what felt like a razor in the right side of my throat. now its my left side
ive had no appetite whatsoever and last night i woke at 330 to only dry heave, not cool!
so today my ears keep needing a popping. and its so damn cold outside its screwed up my nose and irritated my throat
i also pooed before and it was rank, and was the type that requires nonstop wipe-age
i just wanna feel good |
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